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Neighborhood Watch
Neighborhood Watch is the fifteenth episode of Red vs. Blue: Season 11 and 240th episode overall. It aired on October 7, 2013. Characters Red Team *Lopez 2.0 *Lopez *Donut *Grif *Sarge Blue Team *Washington *Tucker *Simmons *Caboose *Freckles *Epsilon (Mentioned only) Other *Doc *Locus *Felix *Cyclops *Locus' forces Plot At Red Base, Lopez finishes telling the story of the Reds and Blues to Lopez 2.0, who is shocked to discover his predecessor was used as a scarecrow. When Sarge asks them for assistance, Lopez then tells Lopez 2.0 that the one thing he likes about Sarge is that because he can't understand Spanish, Lopez can simply insult him without the latter ever realizing it. As a result, both Lopez and Lopez 2.0 enjoy a moment of insulting the oblivious Sarge in Spanish. Meanwhile, at Blue Base, Washington approaches Freckles, where the latter informs him that his continual insubordination of Caboose's commands as well as being unable to complete Blue Team's minimal requirements will no longer be tolerated and that he must be eliminated. In fear of getting killed, Wash calls for Caboose, in which the latter stops Freckles from harming Wash. Wash then finally confronts Caboose and tells him that he has to accept the fact that Church is gone, as his pain in being abandoned has caused him to replace Church with Freckles. Wash also apologizes for not being a better friend to Caboose and, as a token of goodwill, reveals what he has been working on in the ship's armory: a new helmet fashioned to look like Caboose's original helmet. Touched by this, Caboose relinquishes command and Freckles to Wash, saying that being in charge wasn't as fun as he thought. However, Caboose's visor malfunctions, leaving him blind. Tucker congratulates Wash on tricking Caboose into giving up his position, but Wash tells him that he was telling the truth. Back at Red Base, Sarge finally completes his construction on the Mantis. However, due to several missing parts, the robot ends up being the same size as Freckles. The robot, identifying itself as Cyclops, or "CC" by Red Team, malfunctions and considers the Reds and Doc as a threat and prepares to attack. Fortunately for the Red Team, CC shuts down because Sarge switched her power source to diesel and her gas tank ran out as a result. Donut then realizes that CC stated she detected 16 hostiles in the canyon, despite the fact that there are only 11 of them, including Blue Team. Suddenly, the Reds hear gunfire over at Blue base. At Blue base, the gunfire is revealed to be coming from Locus' men, who are assaulting Blue base. Simmons tries to tell them they're friendly, but Wash is eventually forced to order Freckles to eliminate them. As Red Team regroup with the Blues, Locus (offscreen) aims at Wash through the scope of his sniper rifle. When he fires, the orange soldier suddenly appears and shields Wash from Locus' sniper round, but is shot in the leg in the process. Locus then reveals himself and says that he is impressed that the Reds and Blues managed to take out his men, believing them to be the "real deal". He then orders the group to come with him, or he will have no choice but to take them by force later. Wash orders Freckles to attack, but Locus manages to escape. Wounded, the orange soldier asks if any of them knows how to patch a leg, prompting Doc to go off to get some orange juice, much to the soldier's confusion. Transcript Fade in. Cut to Lopez and Lopez 2.0 outside the Red base. Lopez 2.0: ¡¿Un espantapájaros?!scarecrow!? Lopez: 'Sip. Yep. '''Lopez 2.0: '¿Te dejaron ahí pasando el rato con las verduras?just left you hanging out there with all the vegetables? '''Lopez: '''Toma noventa días para cultivar maíz. takes about 90 days to grow corn. '''Lopez 2.0: ¡Eso es terrible!terrible! Lopez: 'No era lo mejor.was not the best. ''Sarge is seen near the robot parts. 'Sarge: '''Hey, Lopezs! Come over here and gimme a hand. I keep havin' to get on my knees to work on this. But I figure it'd be easier if you held it at chest level instead. '''Lopez 2.0: '¡Sí, señor!sir! '''Lopez: '''Espera. Hay una cosa que me gusta de esta gente. There is one thing about these people I do like. '''Lopez 2.0: ¿Qué? What? Lopez: ¡Sargento! ¿Por qué no quieres ponerte en rodillas?¿Tienes miedo que traerá de vuelta recuerdos reprimidos?Sarge! Why don't you want to get on your knees? Afraid it will bring back some repressed memories? Sarge: 'Ha! Lopez, you ol' kidder you. Now come on, time's wastin'. ''Lopez 2.0 looks at lopez then at Sarge. 'Lopez 2.0: '¡Oye Sargento...apestas!Sarge... You smell! '''Sarge: '''Oh, don't tell me he's got you in on it too. Ha ha, Lopez you are rambuctious. '''Lopez: '''A veces él conforma conversaciones enteras. ¡Eres un inútil!he makes up entire conversations. You suck! '''Sarge: '''It is a lovely day, isn't it? '''Lopez 2.0: '''Y no eres inteligente. you aren't smart. '''Sarge: '''Thank you for noticing. I have been hitting the gym. '''Lopez: Tu madre es tan gorda que usa una escala de richter. mother's so fat she uses a richter scale. Lopez 2.0: '''¡Y ella es una puta! she's a whore! '''Sarge: '''He, he. You two are like a couple of three stooges. Well, whenever you're done goofin' off come help me with with this. I just need to make a few more adjustments. '''Lopez: Quédate conmigo, chico. Y te irá bien. with me, kid. And you're going to be just fine. Cut to Washington approaching Blue base. Washington: 'Here goes nothing. ''Freckles walks in front of him. '''Freckles: '''Agent Washington. '''Washington: '''Oh, Freckles. I didn't see you there. Man, for a behemoth you hide really well. '''Freckles: You have failed to uphold your duties to Captain Caboose. Washington: 'But I was just on my way up now. Ready to clean the base! '''Freckles: '''You lack diligence, Agent Washington. '''Washington: '''What? '''Freckles: '''You question authority, Agent Washington. ''Wash raises his gun and slowly backs away. '''Washington: Um, Caboose! Could you come out here?! Freckles' cannons start powering up. Freckles: '''You must be eliminated, Agent Washington. '''Washington: Caboose! Caboose appears on the balcony. Caboose: '''Hello! '''Washington: Your pet is trying to kill me! Caboose: What? That does not sound like Freck... Hey Freckles, Freckles what are you doing? Freckles: '''Agent Washington has failed to meet the minimum requirement of Blue Team service and is no longer fit for duty. He must be eliminated. '''Caboose: '''See, he's just doing what he just said. '''Wahington: '''Caboose, please come here, I need to talk to you! '''Caboose: Agh, probably wants to talk about what an awesome leader I am. Wahsington: '(''coughs) '''Caboose: Yes, hello, what seems to be the problem Agent Washington? Washington lowers his weapon and looks at Caboose. He then turns to Tucker and takes a deep breath. Wahington: 'I'm sorry Caboose. I'm sorry your best friend left you without saying goodbye. Maybe he thought you would try and stop him or maybe it was too hard for him to tell you but, no matter the reason, he's still gone. He left you, (''Cut to Tucker) both of you. (Back to Wash) I don't really do emotional things and I hoped you might have been able to get over this by yourselves so I left you alone, and instead of coming to terms with what you lost, you replaced it with, well, the first thing you found. But I should have been there for you Caboose because, that's what friends do for each other... '''Freckles: Captain Caboose is not your friend, he is your commanding - Caboose: 'Uh, no we're all friends here Freckles, it's, you know. '''Washington: '''That's right, and as your friend I want to say that I'm sorry. I know it's not much, I made you this. ''Washington moves, revealing a blue Mark V helmet on the ground. 'Caboose: '''Oh my god! My old helmet! ''Caboose runs to the helmet. '''Freckles: Captain Caboose, you should return to your duties. Wash stands next to Caboose. Washington: 'I know you really like Freckles, Caboose. But you have to understand that he's very dangerous. He's not a puppy anymore... A kitten? Or... He's really big. '''Caboose: '''Yeeaah... He blew up a car. '''Washington: '''I remember that. ''Caboose approaches Freckles. '''Caboose: Freckles, you- you're one of the best machines I know. And that is saying something because I have been friends with a lot of machines. But... From now on, I think you should listen to Agent Washington. Freckles: Are you sure? Caboose: Yeah, yeah he's very smart and really nice. Freckles: '''... Acknowledged. '''Caboose: '''You can be leader again if you want to, Wash. It's... It's not as much fun as it looks. I think I'm more like the dashing second in command kind of person. Y"know, all the perks no work. '''Washington: Thank you, Caboose. Cut to Tucker watching from the base. Sobbing is heard. Zoom out to reveal Simmons next to him. Simmons: ''(sniffle)'' I wish my team was this emotional. Tucker: Jesus Christ. Tucker walks away. Cut to Caboose wearing his new helmet. Caboose: Ah! It fits perfect! And look, someone left some gum! Tucker approaches Washington. Tucker: '''Pretty sneaky, Wash. A couple of mushy words, a present and you're right back up at the top. '''Washington: Nothing sneaky about it. I meant every word. The helmet is heard shorting out. Cut to Caboose with a black visor. Caboose: Uh oh. I ugh... I can't see anything. Hello? Tucker: You still need to work on your craftsmanship, though. Caboose: (offscreen) OH MY GOD I'M BLIND! Washington: One thing at a time, Tucker. Caboose: Uh... Can people see me? I can't see them! Tucker: Well, at least we don't have a killer robot to worry about anymore. Cut to the the Reds' new robot powering up. Its engine rumbles and smokes. Sarge: Ha ha! Listen to that lady purr. Donut: Great job, Sarge! Cut to the Reds and Doc. Grif: Great job? It looks like shit! It's half the size. And it's on fire! Sarge: Yeah. Turns out we were missin' some pieces. Which reminds me... Sarges beats down Grif. Sarge: 'Donut, get me a glass. ''(Punches Grif)''I'm makin' orange juice. (''Punches Grif) '''Grif: Ack! Every time! Donut: '''Getting a jump on the flu season! Good idea, sir! '''Doc: '''Wait, that's a thing? '''Robot: ''(stuttering) C-c-Cyclops online. '''Sarge:' Huh, I knew it was a beautiful lady. Grif gets up. Grif: Cyclops? Doc: '''Looks more like a praying mantis to me. '''Donut: '''No, she said "C-C" Cyclops. I think it's Italian. '''Cyclops: E-e- error. H-hardware malfunction. Sarge: Welcome to Red team, CC! Now if you can - Cyclops: Enemy soldiers detected. Grif: '''Ugh, is it supposed to do that? '''Sarge: I admire your enthusiasum, Cici. But you've only got one enemy. It's a big robot over at - The Reds and other targets are shown marked as hostiles on Cyclops' HUD. Cyclops: Negative. Motion tracker detects 16 hostiles. Sarge: Wait, what? Cyclops aims at the Reds. Cyclops: D-d-deadly force authorized. Doc: I'm not hostile! I'm a pacifist! Kill them! Grif: Hey! Cyclops: E-engaging targets- t-targets... Cyclops shuts down. Sarge: Damn. She ran outta diesel. Doc: You converted it to diesel? Sarge: Of course. Looks like she needs a bigger fuel tank. Grif: '''Fuck that! She needs to be thrown off a cliff! '''Sarge: '''Well, I don't see how that'll solve the fuel problem. '''Donut: '''Hey, guys... There's eleven of us in the canyon. '''Grif: '''Wow, Donut. That's one more than ten! Good job, buddy. '''Sarge: I dunno if I'd really count Lopez. Donut: 'But she said sixteen. ''Pause. Gunfire is heard at the other end of the canyon. '''Grif: Oh shit... Cut to Locus' soldiers attacking Blue base.Tucker fires back from cover. Tucker: Who the fuck are these guys?! Caboose wanders around on the battlefield. Caboose: Why are we shooting off fireworks? Is it someone's birthday? Washington: Freckles, cover Caboose! Freckles crouches in front of Caboose, shielding him. '' '''Caboose: '(singing) Happy birthday to me... Cut to Simmons standing up from cover. Simmons: Stop shooting! We're friendly! A few shots hit near Simmons and he ducks down. Simmons: That's the opposite of what I said! Tucker: Fuck this! Tucker stands up and shoots one of the soldiers. Washington: Wait! We don't know who they are! Tucker: They're the guys who are gonna kill us if we don't kill them first! Washington: ... Freckles, take them out! Freckles: Engaging targets. Freckles fires his missiles and kills all three soldiers. Freckles: Primary threat eliminated. Cut to Red Team rushing over. Sarge: '''What in Sam Hell is goin' on!? '''Grif: Who were those guys? Washington: We don't know. Tucker: They just showed up and started shooting! Lopez 2.0: '''Vaya...de repente me siento mal de no advertirle a nadie.man... I suddenly feel bad for not warning everyone. '''Sarge: Shut up, Lopez. This isn't the time for jokes. Lopez 2.0: Y ahora me arrepiento de nada. now I regret nothing. A sniper's crosshair is seen lining up on Wash. Washington: Lets move inside. We need to find cover in case there's more hiding out in the - Felix jumps out and deflects the sniper shot with his hardlight shield. Felix: Run! Simmons raises his gun. Simmons: Look out! It's another one! Felix gets shot in the leg and crumples over. Felix: Gah! SON OF A BITCH! Simmons: Wait. I'm confused. Felix: What are you doing?! I said run! Locus: Excellent work soldiers. Locus uncloaks nearby. Locus: You killed my men. I suppose that makes you the real deal. Simmons: '''Okay, now I'm really confused. '''Locus: '''Quiet! All of you, come with me now. '''Washington: ... And why would we do that? Locus: '''Because if you don't come now I'll have to take you later. '''Felix: Fuck off! Locus: '''You, shut your mouth and be glad I missed your head. '''Felix: Oh my god, you are such a douchebag! Tucker: Yeah what he said! Locus: '''This is your last chance. '''Washington: ... Freckles! Freckles fires at Locus but he cloaks and disappears. Grif: '''Holy shit, did you see that? '''Caboose: '''No! What happened?! Please describe it to me! Use only small words! '''Felix: Um, any of you guys know how to patch up a leg? Doc: I'll go get some orange juice. Doc walks off. Felix: Wait, that's a thing? Gallery Caboose Wearing Mk5.png Caboose Black Visor.png Cyclops online.png Four Soldiers Attack.png 11 15 Tucker.png Tucker wields DMR.png 11 15 Headshot.png 11 15 Triple Kill.png 11 15 Wash.png 11 15 Reds And Blues.png 11 15 Reds Running.png Sniper Deflected.png 11 15 Friendly Guy 2.png 11 15 Locus.png 11 15 Locus Power.png Orange Guy protects Reds and Blues.png Trivia *Caboose regains his Mark V helmet in this episode. *Locus calls the Reds and Blues the 'real deal', indicating that he may have high opinions for both teams. *Felix cries out "SON OF A BITCH!" as he's shot, reviving another one of the series' running jokes. *Caboose's line, "Can people see me?! I can't see them!" may be a reference to Roomier Than it Looks, where he makes a similar statement. *Caboose mentioning that Freckles destroyed a car is a reference to the episode Long Live the King. *Doc mentioning the use of orange juice to heal a wound may be a reference to New Toys, where Sarge mentions to Donut to drink orange juice to regain blood. Video Category:Season 11 Category:Episodes